Daddy Dearest

Today is a special day, hence the Saturday post. Today, November 18th, is my daddy's birthday and this post is dedicated to him.

My relationship with my father is very much one of mutual respect. I am the first child and interestingly, daddy has always treated me as such...LOL. Interesting, huh? Well, let me explain further. See, my sister is daddy's little girl because she was the younger child for a really long time and then my brother came along, and he is the only boy so they have their own "man" relationship because of that. So, my place with daddy has always sorta been the elder/eldest child and father relationship where we both listen to each other, take in what the other says respectfully and whatever the outcome, we're cool. It also helps that we are quite similar in temperament.....quiet, soft-spoken observers who only speak when it is necessary not just because.

I wrote about my mother because she deserved a tribute but also because I want you all to be able to see how two people truly complement each other as I describe my father. My mother's bold style is complemented by my father's classic style.....he very rarely wears jeans. He always wears dress pants, shirts, suits or traditional wear in classic colors. My father is about 6ft 2 to my mother's 5ft 11 frame. My father's quiet manner complements my mother's outspokenness. My father's laidback energy is complemented by my mother's earnest energy. Having said that, they fit so well because when it comes to being social, they can both hang...LOL. That's the side of my dad that I love to see, because it reminds me that my dad is on whole other level of cool.

I have love and respect for my father on two different levels. The first is as a man who truly loves his family and will do anything for their growth, even at the sacrifice of himself. I love the way my father has supported my mother as her career has grown....never jealous, never complaining, always there. Whether it was to get us to school in the morning or pick us up, or to leave work in the middle of the day to take us to run errands, or to come to move us from London to the States for school, or to take care of things at home for almost a year when my mom had to work in another country, he has always been there because he understands that when my mother does well, he also does well. In addition, my father has never said no to anything we (his kids) needed to be happy. As long as we did well at school, which was our only job, he did his job to give us everything. My father never yelled, never hit us, never got so angry that he couldn't see our point of view.

On a whole other level, I stand in awe of my father. As I have gotten older, and I become more and more aware of who my father is and what he does, I have come to see that he is a very rare Nigerian man. My father is my daddy, or like my sister sometimes calls him...daddykins, but my father is also Laolu Akins. For those of you not familiar with the Nigerian music industry, my dad is a legend. No exagerration. In the time that the big labels like Polygram, EMI, and Sony were doing it big in Nigeria, my father was the A&R for Sony as well as a top music producer. If you can't help but shake your behind to Ace, Shinamania and Dancing time by Shina Peters, thank my dad. If you appreciated Adewale Ayuba's Bubbling and Bonsue Fuji, you have my dad to thank. If you grooved to Mike Okri's Omoge, Rhumba Dance, Time Na Money and more, that was my dad too. If you heard the call of God when you listened to Funmi Aragbaye's "Mo gbo Ipe", that was daddy. In addition, he has had significant impact on the music industry by working with people too numerous to mention but include, Christy Essien, Emma Ogosi, Onyeka Onwenu, Majek Fashek, and more. Growing up for us was a fabulous time because he included us in everything he did. We danced on stage for Shina Peters, we got visits at home by up and coming talent at the time like Lagbaja and Esse Agesse, many family parties were attended by a long list of star musicians including Shina, Ayuba, King Sunny Ade, and not to mention being able to meet legends like Ebenezer Obey, Onyeka, Sunny Ade, and Sunny Okosuns. In addition, we were surrounded by people involved in all forms of the arts, including RMD, Olu and Joke Jacobs, Taiwo Ajayi Lycett, and more. Oh, the memories I have from growing up are endless. At the time, it seemed normal, but now I realize that my father is amazing. He was working with all these people, changing the landscape of Nigerian music and coming home and being daddy and husband with no ego, no hubris.

To make it even more INSANELY COOL(my new fave expression), my dad was in a band called BLO in the 70's, at the height of the Afrofunk movement. Not only was the band successful on our shores, they were impactful abroad as well. My daddy was the drummer of the band, which included Lemmy Jackson and Berkely Jones, also legends in the Naija music industry. This was a time when Fela, the Lijadu Sisters, Orlando Julius, and the whole Afrobeat/Highlife/AfroFunk movement was in it's prime. My father is truly a part of Nigerian/World music history and when I think about that, I am truly in awe of him. Daddy has told me stories of touring, playing with people like Ginger Baker and Chuck Berry. Touring Africa, and rubbing shoulders with other African music legends like Miriam Makeba. I love to hear his stories, and if I have my way, he'll write a book. For more on BLO and their history see here. These days, daddy still produces and fights for artists rights and against piracy in Nigeria as well. He is working on setting up his own studio with state of the art equipment so that music made in Nigeria will be of the highest quality. As quiet as my daddy seems, all I have to do is remember BLO and know that my dad is COOL. No matter how old he gets, he's got that COOL stamp. LOL



So today on your birthday Daddy, I want you to know that I am so honored and proud to be your daughter. Not just because you are a legend and will be remembered always as a part of Nigerian music history but also because you are a truly good father who just lives for your children and wife to be happy. I love the relationship we have because you listen to me and everything I say and think holds value to you. I appreciate your quiet strength and consideration. Thank you for all the times you visit and tell me to keep living my life and you'll fit in wherever possible. Thank you for always cooking when you come so you can fatten me up and alleviate your worry that I don't eat. Thank you for sharing your love for music with me, and teaching me how to play the drums. Thank you for teaching me how to accept the part of myself that is shy and quiet. Thank you for teaching me how to be social as myself. Thank you for always putting us first. Thank you for being an example of not just a good Nigerian man, but a good man and a good human being. I haven't done justice to what I want the world to know about you - about how you overcame being poor, having to leave home to live with a stranger to get an education, to get to where you are today. There are not enough words to express how blessed I feel to have you as a father. I thank God for you and I love you with all my heart....your daughter May.