Friday, January 12, 2007

HAPPY NEW YEAR ALL. I HAVE RETURNED!

Hey Y'all. Happy New Year. Doesn't look like I was missed.........LOL. I'm seeking some compliments now o. Either way, I am back from Naija and you guys, it was an EXPERIENCE. You know, the type that leaves you asking yourself whether it really happened, whether you're asleep and enjoying a really fabulous dream and hoping you don't wake up.

Naija had it's bad parts....fuel scarcity, the usual NEPA wahala, the "oga/madam, i just dey greet you o" greetings from the Po-Po with their palms spread open. Still for the most part, it was good. My cousin got married.......I have never seen a more glowing bride. She refused to let anything get to her and just enjoyed her engagement and wedding days to the fullest. Her wedding was fun but I must say that I attended another wedding that took the cake for fun. It was a young couple so the agbalagbas had their area downstairs, complete with caterers, the onilus and such while the youngsters had our own area upstairs, with our own caterers, overflowing food and drinks including MOET(lol) and the best part.........a good ass DJ! Man, me and my friends had an absolute blast! And come and see Naija guys trying to holla cos u know your girl was looking fly as always with a hot strapless number and long satin skirt in the style of a famous Charlize Theron Chanel number. LOL. I also ran into a fellow blogger at the wedding, which was cool as well.

I didn't really club much. My friend Tony was in town as well so we hung out and hit the clubs one night and went back home and pigged out on rice and moin moin....memories...LOL. Thanks for the shout-outs on Cool FM honey! Much love and I'm excited about the awesome things that are going to happen for you this year! See you at SUNDANCE.

Of course, it was Sallah as well so lots of visiting homes and eating meat went on. I hit up Low's house and got to see her and Yuwa then as well. The rest of the time was house parties and well.........more but I have to keep some stuff for myself. LOL. All I will say is be careful what you ask for cos when you get it........the EXPERIENCE truly begins. Oh, and you know that cliche, "things happen for a reason" - boy, do they ever! LOL

I've been trying to catch up with all the stuff I missed and it's definitely been am interesting time in blogville since I've been gone. I read BellaNaija's post today and checked out the article about the Nigerian musician who sort of came out of the closet and then went back in. A lot of things stood out to me but one thing in particular stood out to me;

Throughout this period Okereke had been studying English literature at university in London. He knew music was his 'vocation' but he had kept it quiet from his parents that he was in a band. It was only once the record contract was signed that Okereke told them he was giving up academia for rock'n'roll. Even then it would be some time before they accepted their son's 'job'.
'They really weren't that supportive up until it started ...' As often happens, Okereke's tumbled words fall over each other and a sentence skids to a halt. 'Matt was telling me that it was his mum's advice to travel to London to start a band, 'cause he was just floundering at home. "Just do what you love," she told him. I'm so jealous of that. If I'd maybe had that as a child I'd probably be a lot less secretive ... a lot less ...' He stops again. '[If I'd had] an unconditional sense of "We love you and this is what you do, this is what you are", I'd probably be a very different person.'


I had a conversation recently with someone who in a short time I have come to respect, and we talked about the elements/things/experiences/people that have enabled us to become independent thinking, open-minded, and all those other adjectives that probably describe many of us in blogville very well as well. I think we both came to the conclusion that our parents were very much the sort that always supported us and the things we wanted to do. But the aforementioned quote raises the issue of the Nigerian parent mentality of "my child must be a doctor, a lawyer or an engineer". Does it still exist as much as it has done in the past? Or are our parents now realizing that the way to go is to let their kids do what they love? Another conversation I had with my good friend Mariama (currently at Cambridge earning her PhD in Spanish Literature focusing on the issue of exile in 2nd generation writers) focused on the issue of Nigerian parents who live outside of Nigeria who tend to hold on more to tradition and culture and push that unto their kids especially when it seems less and less likely that they will return home. So maybe that's what Kele Okereke experienced.

I am of the opinion that there is nothing like supporting a child's dream. I love the stories of folks like Beyonce and others whose parents recognized a talent and their child's dream and helped them nurture and grow it. My parents have always been so great at saying "as long as you're happy" and really meaning it and it has made a world of difference in the way I think, and live and feel about life.

This is turning into a major piece on social commentary so I'll stop now but just before I go, I must comment about the whole drama on Overwhelmed's blog. I am a big fan of her blog and have always respected her for being unafraid to truly delve deeply into herself and pull stuff out that many of us are plain scared to even touch with a ten foot pole. I am not a YES person because I have the ability to not stand in judgement and take her blog for what it is - an expression of her life and experience from the past up until this moment in time. She has a right to speak her piece on HER blog. She deserves respect....not pity, not judgement, not negativity.

To everyone, have a great weekend. To us Americanas, happy MLK weekend......do something good just in commemoration of Dr. King's day. I'm gonna try to see the King papers this weekend if it's not too hectic.


WHAT I KNOW FOR SURE:

Everything happens for a reason. You ask yourself and God why when the sad/bad happens and at the right/perfect moment, it all becomes clear - forever banishing the questions and leaving in its wake a new level of understanding. - "Ms. May"

24 comments:

bhookey84 said...

nice poost, would say more but its 130am and im tired, be back tmrw

Miguel said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Miguel said...

welcome back! glad to know you had a blast...

Funmi said...

welcome back girl!

Cherub (former bijouxoxo) said...

May's back, May's back and she had a blast in Lagos!!! It's so sad that even the so-called educated parents still have that mentality of my son must be a doctor- Truly sad.

DiAmOnD hawk said...

Welcome back! The mentality of our parents trickle down to us. I had someone in college majoring in Drama...and she wasnt particularly good...and all of us were like WHY ARE YOU WASTING MONEY...like i wouldve loved to do somn in mass communications BUT...

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

Oh whao.. we missed you oh babe.. e don tey sha!!! we're glad you had a blast in Naija and me I hope you're going to be giving us a lot more gist about Naija than that oh(me i'm just treating the above post like an introduction oh!)yeah the you have to be a doctor thing still exists and even my parents want that... and guess what?!?!... I"m gonna be a doctor! I love to write but I figure I could just always do that on 'the side'.. maybe things would be different if I had different parents.. but I don't know...I've always felt that I had to prove to the world(my father?) that anything a man could do.. a female could do as well!!I know some might call my line of thinking 'deeply flawed'... but in the words of Nina Simone "they don't know what trouble I've seen"

THanks for the comment on 'the drama going on at my blog'.. babe the thing has taken a life of its own self... i don't have a problem with people even telling me they disagree with what i'm saying.. but when you cross the line and insult me.. I give back just as good.. if not more!!!

Once again.. welcome back babe.. we missed you.. and abeg give us all the gist!!!

Biodun said...

Welcome back girl, it was fun hanging out with u this weekend. On the issue u discussed I think our parents r beginning to see things the other way, I think they beginning to realize that all kids cant be doctors or lawyers! Have a blessed week n glad u had fun in naija!

Dami said...

Happy Nu Yr Ms. May & welcome back. Sure u had mad fun in Naij. Neways looking forward to reading more from you dis year. Tk Care, DamyB

Wale said...

happy new year. welcome back. nice long post...but i read in photos. so...can we make that happen. gracias!

i could understand where parents come frome. but what i don't understand are the children that actually go through college...grad school or med school miserable....for how many years hating their area of study...but sticking with it all in the name of pleasing your parents.

that right there is backwards! people need to get their own *ish together, grow up and snap out of "my parents are making me go to law school."

Soul said...

I don't really dig mase (that lazy ass slow rapper) but I gotta borrow his line ...

Welcome back... welcome back, welcome back, welcome back...

nice one Ms May. Nice one.

Mona said...

Hope you had a nice holiday yesterday and I can see you enjoyed your time in Lagos even if you didn't go clubbing much....

True about that topic - parents trying to enforce the culture, even the refined ones...weird!

Anyways check out the M word on my blog xxx

Uzo said...

Welcome back....As usual, Lagos provided fun for all.....I see nothing with trying to maintain our culture even outside the country,...Its forcing and shoving choices down people's throats that i dont get

Icy said...

I missed u babz. ka bo jare. I know ur tush had a blast. Omo if u know how many times I came here hoping u would post in naija.. hmm BLOG addict. I THINK SO lol!

As per children and their dreams. Times have changed but sometimes some children need direction cuz omo they are clueless lol But I feel u.. Old school is gradually learning. How rapidly that would grow.hmmmmm..

Vera Ezimora said...

Welcome back Ms. May. You obviously had a blast. To say I'm jealous would be an understatement.

Bella Naija said...

Welcome back!
Hope u had fun..
Please dont hoard the gist...just unleash it! lol
What bout some pics as well?

Confessions of a moody crab said...

Welcome back and happy new year. The thing abt parents still exists. My dad wanted me to do law in uni. I got admission into Kings but turned it down cos I did not want to study Law. Then I applied to a different uni to study something else. That was 2 and half years ago. I did not tell my dad abt my decision until this xmas. Why? Because I had to wait for him to pay all my school fees(I'm in my fianl year now) before i 'fess up. This is becuse I did not want him to say he's not gonna pay my skool cos I'm not doing Law.

Anyway, when I finally told him..He was mad. He was mad not because i lied to him but because I am not doing law. According tohim, he said the course I'm doing is nothing and I should have stayed back in Nigeria instead of wasting thousands of pounds doing nothing. To cut the long story short, he later came around (after all the praying and fasting) and accepeted the course that I'm doing now. So my dear, it still exists and the sad part is, I don't think it can ever stop...except by Divine Intervention!

Ms Jade said...

Welcome back Ms May, i can feel the ufn you had in naija.

disgodkidd said...

ms may...i was just wondering...maybe you could help a brother meet a sister?...

The 3Ts of Tunde said...

Yep, u looked amazing at the wedding. Had to pass some Kleenex around so guys could wipe the drool off the side of their mouths. :-)

Glad u had fun at the wedding. If u free September 2007 there's another sibling getting hitched.

Onada said...

what do you mean you dont think you were missed!!! welcome back..sounds like you had a great trip too!!! p.s. happy new year

Ms. May said...

bhookey84: thx. i'm still waiting. lol

miguel: thx honey. still waiting for my accountability call o! LOL

funmi: thx mama.

cherub: thx for the warm welcome back...LOL. i like to think that more and more Naija parents are changing though.

diamond: thx! yeah, i feel you. one of things i loved abt going to school in the States is the whole MAJOR/MINOR thing. i hv lots of friends who majored in the parent pleasing BIOLOGY/ACCOUNTING/CHEMISTRY e.t.c and then minored in what they were truly interested in.

ONB: Just as long as you're happy being a doctor...then do it. This post was the full story o...LOL. No extra gist. LOL

Biodun: I had a good time as well. Hopefully, a repeat will happen after the GMAT. I agree...I think our parents are a lot more open these days.

Dami: Thx girl

Wale: I'll try to grant the picture request. True...there is a responsibility on the part of the kid to do what they will be happy doing but if your parents are putting you through school, it might be more difficult to do that...not impossible though.

Soul: Hey missy! Thank you.

Mona: Thanks. I did check out the M word....true talk my sister. But you know I'm almost ready for all that myself...ALMOST....LOL.

Uzo: Yes o. Lagos was fun for me. Didn't do as much partying as usual...I think I'm getting old. LOL. Maybe next time I'm there we can meet up.

Icy: LOL...crazy girl. Naija was too sweet to find time to blog. Looking forward to your blogspot page starting up soon.

Vera: It was a good time...LOL.

Bella Naija: Thx girl. Loving your new yr stuff as usual. Will try with the pics.

CMC: Wow! I think you should do a post abt this o. For real. And I applaud your courage for doing what you wanted despite the pressures....even though you ahd to be shady abt it.

Ms Jade: Thks girl!

Disgodkidd: Errrmmmmm, no can do homie. You're actually a bit scary. Your approach is not helping you at all. Sorry.

Tunde: Hey honey!!!!! Thanks for corroborating my story that I looked good. Chei, if I had lied that's how I'd be having to eat my words right abt now...LOL. It was great meeting you and that wedding was just too much. It was done right! We'll see abt September. When's yours? (said with tongue in cheek) LOL

Onada: Thx girl! Heard you were in Naija....wish we coulda met. Maybe next time. I missed that beach party...wish I hadn't. Looking forward to hearing all your gist as well.

The Life of a Stranger called me said...

Hey welcome back - I wanted to know if there has been any updates on the application you put in before the christmas rush. Wish you all the best.

Bee said...

Hey Missy.... Welcome Back!. How was naija?.... Yuweee tells me ya'll had fun (soo jealous right now).I will be needing pictures plsss :-)