Thursday, August 24, 2006

U Wanna B Starting Sumthin

Hey Y'all. Wetin dey? This week has flown by....can't believe it's Thursday and I only put up one blog this week. Anyhoo, I'm about to rectify the sitch. So, the ladies BellaNaija and Yetty have both started something o. Bella is our very own resident "Dear Abby" and her first question came from a young lady who did shakara for a guy she liked till the bobo fashied her and found someone else. Then Yetty picked it up from there and asked the question, "When is the right time to stop the shakara, and does the opposite sex lose interest if you stop the shakara?". So I have decided to take it a bit further.

Here's the scenario. All the shakara on both sides is said and done and you both figure out that you like each other, you start spending time together and everything is cool. You're both floating on air. The guy is thinking, "men, this babe is cool o. no stress when i wanna hang with the boys, she's doing her own thing, her cooking game is tight AND my boys like her." The girl is thinking, "this bobo dey o. he appreciates my cooking, he listens when i talk, he even takes me shopping every once in a while AND my girls like him." So after the customary few months, let's say about 5-6 months, the girl decides it's safe to drop the "L" word. All of a sudden...kata-kata busts and dude starts acting weird. The phone calls are few and far between. When he does call, it's a 5 minute conversation and then he has to go. When you call, na so so answering machine. He doesn't come over as much, and barely invites you over anymore either. What do you do?

Let's hear it folks. Any women who have experienced it. Any guys who have been perpetrators. Or if you just have an opinion. Share o. Inquiring minds wanna know.

"If you love somebody, let them go. If they return, they were always yours. If they don't, they never were." - Anonymous

14 comments:

Bella Naija said...

i luv the way u broke it down, my may....that scenario has occured so many times but i think it is even more frequent among our nigerian people....i dunno if there is a solution o....i guess if she/he is the one u r meant 2 b wit all these games will be irrelevant...i wont lie it has happened to me and it wasnt fun @ all!!!!!

Icy said...

hmmm....lemmme run my mouth. The L words is a strong word and frankly I think more women should hold off on saying it. I know it sucks but f it jare let them sweat lol! Shuu. When they run like that after we say it omo, some of them never recover. So I suggest you let a broda say it fest it's just sweeter. Cuz u know women be tripping so abeg let him trip and say it fest. Cuz at the end of the day you will shower him with that love wo the man go know... let him do the honors of saying it first.. Unles of course u feel like ya going to burst if you don't say it lol! I rest my case

Ms. May said...

@BellaNaija: Thx. It happened to you, but what did you do? Stay for a while? Fashied him immediately? Talk to him? Did you resolve it? If you're willing to share more details, it'd be appreciated!

@Icy: I have NO patience. I am usually the first to say the "L" word because it's hard for me to hold it in if I feel that way about someone. Only once have I said it that I wish I could take it back because I didn't mean it but it took self-reflection to realize that. So I def try to hold off as ong as I can on saying it but I don't believe in letting the guy go first. If I feel it, I want to tell you. Now however you react after I tell you can also tell me a few things about you...if it's good, then maybe we really do have something. If it's not, then maybe it's time to say goodbye because as much as I love anyone, I also understand that love alone is never enough to sustain a relationship. Let me sharrap!!!!

WalePhotos said...

this might be off topic a bit...but i thought it was taught to nigerians to do shakara. personally, games should be left has games. there's no spice in fronting.

for this shakara reason, i missed out on dating a lot of lovely ladies back in the day...or i should say a lot of lovely ladies missed out on dating me. just kidding...

anyways, i've learnt not all nigerians are like that.

Ms. May said...

@walephotos: I'm leaving you comments all over the place. LOL. I wanna hear what you have to say about this particualr topic too.

WalePhotos said...

lol. i didn't comment on this because 1) the questions are skewed- on the feminine side. 2) i'm upset taking the girl shopping is part of the guy showing his affection.

anyways, to give an input sha- if the guy starts acting funny after he hears the L word, they probably shouldn't be together. he doesn't feel the same way.

Ms.Minx said...

I agree with Yetty, mostly cuz I'm stubborn and ornery, and won't say it first!E kuku no go pain me, let him spill his guts before I open mouth!! LOL

@May: Now, u KNOW I also have NO patience, BUT I think my stubborn streak is stronger than my impatience, hence the above statement!

@Walephotos: Hi!

PS: To actually answer the question, nah, it's never happened to me!

NaijaBloke said...

Well to me it does not matter who says it first.If am feeling it I will definately say it and if u like run... na u sabi.Am not going to say it just cos u said it if am not feeling it.

Like there was this chic that did the shakara thing to me way back then and we later we started kicking it sha.The day she sd the "L" thing,she was shocked when i told her that the only woman I love is my mum o.

Ms. May said...

@ Naijabloke: You no correct o! I no know the chick and I dey feel sorry for am. LOL. Did she stay or did she fashi you?

Ms. May said...

@ Walephotos: The shopping thing is just an example for the sake of the scenario o! LOL. Not saying it's a requirement of showing affection. Some women prefer it, others don't find it necessary. But it is a situation in which a lot of women I know have found themselves in, which is why I asked it. Have you ever said it and the woman turns cold on you? Do share if that's the case o. Make we hear. LOL.

low said...

Wat do u mean what do u do..lolll Hey U DUST URSELF UP N TRY AGAIN!! Finito!!!! Easier said than done right.lol

WalePhotos said...

lol...i was half kidding ms. may. no...it's never happened to me. fortunately.

zaiprincesa said...

hmm.."i lurf u"....Abegi!...if u r a woman...HOLD URSELF OH!!...dont go misyarning no "i lurf u" nonsense until u r sure, from his actions (and no, taking you shopping is not a sign of lurf..cus sugar daddies take their sugar babes shopping, and we that aint love..psshh)that he is crazily, madly, deeply, "ill let u have my last smirnoff ice" in love with you. Pls, dont jump the gun if u r not sure...wait for him to say it first...it actually keeps some men on their toes when u don't go screaming it so soon. Just a tot...

Icy said...

@ zaiprincesa thank you o that is all I am saying o! and believe me u do want them on their toes!