HAPPY NEW YEAR ALL. I HAVE RETURNED!

Hey Y'all. Happy New Year. Doesn't look like I was missed.........LOL. I'm seeking some compliments now o. Either way, I am back from Naija and you guys, it was an EXPERIENCE. You know, the type that leaves you asking yourself whether it really happened, whether you're asleep and enjoying a really fabulous dream and hoping you don't wake up.

Naija had it's bad parts....fuel scarcity, the usual NEPA wahala, the "oga/madam, i just dey greet you o" greetings from the Po-Po with their palms spread open. Still for the most part, it was good. My cousin got married.......I have never seen a more glowing bride. She refused to let anything get to her and just enjoyed her engagement and wedding days to the fullest. Her wedding was fun but I must say that I attended another wedding that took the cake for fun. It was a young couple so the agbalagbas had their area downstairs, complete with caterers, the onilus and such while the youngsters had our own area upstairs, with our own caterers, overflowing food and drinks including MOET(lol) and the best part.........a good ass DJ! Man, me and my friends had an absolute blast! And come and see Naija guys trying to holla cos u know your girl was looking fly as always with a hot strapless number and long satin skirt in the style of a famous Charlize Theron Chanel number. LOL. I also ran into a fellow blogger at the wedding, which was cool as well.

I didn't really club much. My friend Tony was in town as well so we hung out and hit the clubs one night and went back home and pigged out on rice and moin moin....memories...LOL. Thanks for the shout-outs on Cool FM honey! Much love and I'm excited about the awesome things that are going to happen for you this year! See you at SUNDANCE.

Of course, it was Sallah as well so lots of visiting homes and eating meat went on. I hit up Low's house and got to see her and Yuwa then as well. The rest of the time was house parties and well.........more but I have to keep some stuff for myself. LOL. All I will say is be careful what you ask for cos when you get it........the EXPERIENCE truly begins. Oh, and you know that cliche, "things happen for a reason" - boy, do they ever! LOL

I've been trying to catch up with all the stuff I missed and it's definitely been am interesting time in blogville since I've been gone. I read BellaNaija's post today and checked out the article about the Nigerian musician who sort of came out of the closet and then went back in. A lot of things stood out to me but one thing in particular stood out to me;

Throughout this period Okereke had been studying English literature at university in London. He knew music was his 'vocation' but he had kept it quiet from his parents that he was in a band. It was only once the record contract was signed that Okereke told them he was giving up academia for rock'n'roll. Even then it would be some time before they accepted their son's 'job'.
'They really weren't that supportive up until it started ...' As often happens, Okereke's tumbled words fall over each other and a sentence skids to a halt. 'Matt was telling me that it was his mum's advice to travel to London to start a band, 'cause he was just floundering at home. "Just do what you love," she told him. I'm so jealous of that. If I'd maybe had that as a child I'd probably be a lot less secretive ... a lot less ...' He stops again. '[If I'd had] an unconditional sense of "We love you and this is what you do, this is what you are", I'd probably be a very different person.'

I had a conversation recently with someone who in a short time I have come to respect, and we talked about the elements/things/experiences/people that have enabled us to become independent thinking, open-minded, and all those other adjectives that probably describe many of us in blogville very well as well. I think we both came to the conclusion that our parents were very much the sort that always supported us and the things we wanted to do. But the aforementioned quote raises the issue of the Nigerian parent mentality of "my child must be a doctor, a lawyer or an engineer". Does it still exist as much as it has done in the past? Or are our parents now realizing that the way to go is to let their kids do what they love? Another conversation I had with my good friend Mariama (currently at Cambridge earning her PhD in Spanish Literature focusing on the issue of exile in 2nd generation writers) focused on the issue of Nigerian parents who live outside of Nigeria who tend to hold on more to tradition and culture and push that unto their kids especially when it seems less and less likely that they will return home. So maybe that's what Kele Okereke experienced.

I am of the opinion that there is nothing like supporting a child's dream. I love the stories of folks like Beyonce and others whose parents recognized a talent and their child's dream and helped them nurture and grow it. My parents have always been so great at saying "as long as you're happy" and really meaning it and it has made a world of difference in the way I think, and live and feel about life.

This is turning into a major piece on social commentary so I'll stop now but just before I go, I must comment about the whole drama on Overwhelmed's blog. I am a big fan of her blog and have always respected her for being unafraid to truly delve deeply into herself and pull stuff out that many of us are plain scared to even touch with a ten foot pole. I am not a YES person because I have the ability to not stand in judgement and take her blog for what it is - an expression of her life and experience from the past up until this moment in time. She has a right to speak her piece on HER blog. She deserves respect....not pity, not judgement, not negativity.

To everyone, have a great weekend. To us Americanas, happy MLK weekend......do something good just in commemoration of Dr. King's day. I'm gonna try to see the King papers this weekend if it's not too hectic.


WHAT I KNOW FOR SURE:

Everything happens for a reason. You ask yourself and God why when the sad/bad happens and at the right/perfect moment, it all becomes clear - forever banishing the questions and leaving in its wake a new level of understanding. - "Ms. May"